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ON THE 19TH JANUARY 2006, AT 4.56AM, THE ANGELS CAME , WE WERE HEARTBROKEN, NOTHING ON THIS EARTH CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE PAIN....WE ALWAYS REMEMBER SOMETHING OUR MOM USED TO SAY ABOUT DEATH...."NO ONE IS REALLY FRIGHTENED ABOUT DYING.. ITS WHAT WE LEAVE BEHIND THAT FRIGHTENS US".
Mom was a wonderful person who is going to be so sorely missed, its such a pity that people who are reading this, never had the chance to meet someone truly remarkable, now what can i say about mom, oh dear lol, she still makes me laugh just looking back, best not let out all our secrets otherwise she will be phoning me from heaven.
Moms illness started about 2 years ago i will only briefly outline a journey together as a family, that would test our strength, Faith, and devotion.
Mom had begun to lose a lot of weight 2 years ago and was very frail, however she still did all the things that she had always done, going to work running around after us all, after a lot of tests by the Hospital they were non the wiser as to what was wrong, we were assured as a family that mom was ok.
Mom was rushed to hospital, on the 23rd May 2005, after numerous tests, they discovered she had an Aschaemic Bowel, they operated on mom and it was touch and go, for 3 days, we were called by the doctors, and told that Mom would not make it, however they did not know mom, and i knew in my heart, she would never leave us this way,
she was on a life support machine for 3 weeks.
there was a lot of complications, but i still knew she would come through, (her nickname by the nurses was miracle rita). Everthing was stacked against her, every complication. and however everytime the doctors were telling us that there was no hope, but we all knew she would make it through, (this bit made mom laugh so much when we told her..) Me and lisa was sitting and talking around moms bed, it was about 1.30 in the morning, all of a sudden mom opened her eyes and moved her hand, Lisa was so overcome with joy.. she fainted. i did not know where to go first, so i left my poor sister on the floor and ran for my dad, she still thanks me for that. mom said she did not know if she was dreaming or not, but she could tell us every, conversation we had with her while she was on the life support machine.
My Dad, our mom was our best friend, our Pal, our life, Dad is our hero, we love him so much, my mom loved him so obviously, and he adored her, he never once went home, not for 5 months while she was in the hospital, he could not leave her just in case she woke up, and he was not there, after a life time together, as a child, teen, adult, ive never seen such devotion, right to the end, to be honest they were like a pair of teenagers with each other.
Everything from this point on, is far to painful to explain, but mom deteriated terrible, not through the operation, but lack of care, and basic hygene standards that are in our National Health Service.
we decided to bring mom home, as we felt we could look after her better than the care she was receiving, we put our jobs on hold, and all moved back home temporarily, with the help of amazing friends and co-workers, we locked up our homes and went home, we pulled off the impossible.
Mom came on terrificly, we had such a good time back home, although she was in enormous pain, she still had that amazing sense of humour, which often got us into trouble by the district nurses for too much laughter going on, Mrs Darcy you must rest.. but that was mom all over she had a terrific sense of humour. confession time.(dad you know when you was driving past the house, and you thought you saw us, but we convinced you that you was seeing things, it was us, mom wanted to go for a walk, i have never ran so fast in my life. to get mom back into bed, before you got to the drive..) and all she did was laugh...
We had an amazing christmas, together, it was Regans first Christmas so it was very special, mom was a mathmatical genius, hayley misses the help with her homework, sadly we never got that gene but she was amazing with mental maths, as children it was quicker to ask mom, than to type it on a calculator, until the order of the christmas tree, oh just give us the biggest you have, this 20 foot tree arrived on the drive ,
poor dad sawing it in the garden .. did we laugh together ..being back home with all the family getting up together in the morning, just like old times together..oh yes back in our old rooms fighting over who got the bathroom first, mom & dad loved it ..Our New Year 2006 was just the most amazing night, we had all had the most horrendous year, but that did not matter now, mom was here, and we loved every second together, we all stayed in (no parties) in pyjamas in bed with mom, champagne, fire works it was beautiful, mom made a promise at 12.00pm. that this time next year we would have the biggest party together, (im holding that promise mom for 2007).
On the 12th January mom was complaining of a stomach ache, and generaly feeling under the weather, mom never complained of pain so i knew it was not right, i phoned the doctors, but they refused to come out due to her past history, due to her bowel, they said we had to take her back to hospital, a decision that will haunt us all forever,
Mom was taken into hospital , and rushed back into theatre, however when they operated. there was nothing wrong with her, other than a water infection, again we exhailed relief, but that was short lived, mom contracted clostridum difficle (super Bug) that is contracted in hospitals, she could not fight this bug, it completly consumed her. 7 days later, we were told she was not going to pull through this time, and in our hearts we knew this time, that she was not going to come home, however mom called for us, and asked us to let her go, she wanted our blessing, even in all this heartache and desperation, she said sorry, for spoiling jayne & Hayleys birthday, we told her it was ok, she said she would send us signs she is still here, we asked for feathers, she does this and although our hearts are broken still, and a part of us died with mom, we were very blessed to have had her at all. mom went to sleep at 4.56am with all the family there, she was so beautiful in life, she looked so beautiful asleep, I would like to say a thank-you to the nurse that was with mom that night, her name was Jane, she was absolutely wonderful, she had looked after mom before in icu, she cried so hard when mom went to sleep, we sometimes forget, that although they see this all the time, they are after all human, and one person can touch their hearts, we are proud that it was our mom. I know now what mom meant about hurt, life, & pain, as a mother myself, and an Auntie,to 4 most spectacular children, the hardest thing i have ever done in my entire life, was to make a phone call to Carol, moms dearest pal, she had been there all along, but as the night wore on i watched her heart break, she was devastated, she went home, to be by herself, i made that call to her, and i can honestly say it was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do,the next was to tell my child Hayley, that her dear sweet acushla, had gone to sleep with the angels, and too watch her heart crumble was the worst, Liam & Katherine was with us the entire time, and that is something i will carry through life what they witnesed their heartbreak is something i cannot type!! ..but we know she will watch us all from way above. after all she has never broken a promise to us yet, we loved her so much there is not a word invented yet, for the love we felt for, Rita, Mom,Nan Friend .xx
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